It's been sad these past couple of days. I've missed everyone sooo much! All I have to keep me company is my pet tortoise and the old hobo who still won't allow me to get a divorce.
I told him that I couldn't live in a box anymore, but he just didn't want to move up in the world. Oh well.
P.S. Im still engaged.
But I'm not telling who. But I'll give you a hint. I want his body.
I'm getting all flabbergasted just thinking about him. My pulse is racing, my heartbeat fluttering, I can't stop thinking about his rock hard abs, and beautiful body racing through my mind. I only wish I could be with him. The way he beat on that Drum! SSOOOOOO HOTTTT!!!!
Also, I have no compassion. I kick diseased dogs for fun. I like the way they yelp from the pain.
I once drop kicked a blind cat with parkinson's disease just so it could fly through the air. I am a horrible person.
But I'm okay with that.
Because you know who else is? Oprah Winfrey. The way she just "gave" all that money to those stupid orphans. It's ridiculous. She should have bought shoes.
As a side note, I hate tortoises. I just keep Oopsie around so that when the zombie apocalypse comes about, I can at least outrun something! You know, considering how "fast" I can "run". This is the part where I smirk and laugh at my creative genius. I'm so funny and witty!
Last, but certainly not least, I'm going to give you the url to one of my most favorite videos ever!! :D
Nevermind. I'm just going to go kick my own kittens.
This is the most entertaining thing I've ever had the pleasure to watch being written.
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ReplyDeleteIf it was too far, you would have deleted it by now.
ReplyDeleteI do not appreciate the censorship... and, you are very correct, Vic. I feel like since it went soooooo far it doesn't really sound like me, so i'm okay with leaving it up ;) (I mean, really...would I say things like that?)
ReplyDeleteHAHAHAHAHAHA Vic, you have a beautiful mind... Your imaginative craftiness is most definitely unparalleled. I was freaking out for a little while before it clicked haha. I was pleased to see that you were the culprit =)
ReplyDeleteActually Duncan, it was Jimmy...Vic just sat there and laughed as we watched him hack me...of course, she couldn't really do anything about it, but that's beside the point...And i'm a little bit disappointed in you, young man...you should not be condoning this kind of behavior...lol
ReplyDeleteDuncan laughed, I'm off the hook
ReplyDeleteNo offense to Duncan, but how on earth does that get you off the hook? ;) I'm a bit confused as to how those two correlate.
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